An Abstract Commensalism

It's Friday. My nervousness and anticipation for tonight show through the six pit-stained shirts rotting in the hamper. There's still two hours left until she comes over. I've already played the whole evening in my head a thousand times, so I'm left with virtually nothing to do. After two more hours dragged by, I hear a knock on the door. It's my date, Brooke (not using the real name for sake of anonymity). I welcome her into my home, and we sit. We pick our respective brains, beginning to learn just how compatible we are with one another. How exciting! The first feelings of love for young Jesse and Brooke.

In attempt to ruin my life, my dad walks in the room and decides to join Brooke and I. After that point, the night really sucked. The message that many teenagers can relate to in this situation is that benefiting from intimacy entirely depends on privacy. The intimacy that Brooke and I shared made us both happy. When my dad joined our conversation, he took took away the privacy of it, and thus  rendering our intimacy fruitless. This phenomenon of intimacy hinging on privacy can be seen in daily life: a third wheel ruining a couple's time together, inside jokes only working in certain groups, etc. The Circle often does the same to its members: strips them of their privacy, exposes their intimacies, and in so doing destroys the value of intimate relationships- the exclusive connection between a close group of people. As is evidenced in The Circle, intimacy and privacy have a commensalist relationship where intimacy depends on privacy, yet privacy does not require intimacy. 

An attractive sense of mystery can often show up as one of privacy's benefits to intimacy. In The Circle, Mae is drawn to Kalden by the privacy (or mystery) of their relationship. After she says to Annie that she is "intrigued" by him and Annie asks what she knows about him, all she can remember is that "he's thin. Brown eyes, tallish" (Eggers 169). After Annie admits that she's concerned by the lack of information she has on Kalden, Mae ignores the concern and justifies it by saying that "She trust[s]ed" him. Essentially, she is drawn to the fact that no one knows anything about him. The privacy of their relationship allows their intimacy to actually mean something. 

Perhaps a more obvious example of this commensalist relationship can be found in the interactions between Francis and Mae. Mae is content with her relationship with Francis. She finds him awkward yet adorable. However, when he removes the privacy from their relationship by telling the public at a Circle event that he would like to date her, she is turned off. Thus, when the privacy is gone, the intimacy means nothing to her. 

Privacy and secrecy in a relationship mean that the connection is wholly unique and exclusive. The plot of the circle provides a breeding ground of explanations as to how these two traits interact.